Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Slaying Dragons.....

I'm amazed at how much over-thinking goes into making posts that aren't filled with it!  I'm not the best at superficial.  Oh well, today it is all about real, transparent, authentic and yes a bit of over thinking exercises to get those muscles ready for use.  The finals are now less than a week away.

I've been talking to a few "athletic" friends....folks who compete at an intense level in their sport: runners, football players, and a sports psychologist or two.  Now not all of these folks are talking to me with facetime.  Some are on my iPod but still they speak truth.  A few weeks ago, I was asked, "what are you really afraid of?:  Not Pollyanna answers such as 'heights' and 'yellow jackets' but the dig deep answers of what holds you back from being all you can be.  Until those dragons can be identified, hunted down and slayed....or at the very least taserred.....then peak mental performance will be hindered to some degree. 

As I work towards the finals, I have been working more on me than my dogs.  I love the fact that the finals are just a pull-over view point on the scenic route of our relationship with my dogs.    It is not a destination, nor an ending, nor does it define me or my dogs......I get that with my girls.  Thankfully, this relationship with my dogs is not defined by expectation or productivity from their perspective! That is one of the many gifts of dogs.

On the other hand, I bring 40+ years to the table......growing up in a highly competitive family and then all the nuances that make up me from my lifetime.  Addressing "FEAR"...fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what ifs....has been interesting, to use that word ever so lightly.  I shared some of my fears with a friend and talked about how not much of any of them are valid.  But until I find them and sort them...they most certainly linger and, like the compost pile Miss Grace loves to roll in, leave a bit of stink. 

As I look around at the top hands I respect ever so much; those that let me have a glimpse of their mind games, I wonder.  What mental discipline plays into their "performance"?  I'm lucky to have mentors willing to talk...and also just as lucky to have access to other pro's from other walks of life.  What separates those that go on to live life to its fullest from those that settle for mediocrity?  I'm not of the belief it is all talent...there are enough of those with limited talent that achieve greatness through discipline and intense desire for excellence (they do indeed work hard).  There are also those of incredible talent that never get to the next level from lack of the very same.  But what is that "thing"?

I'm still hunting my dragons.  They are clever creatures.....very chameleon like in their ability to blend in with my functional foundation.  Some I've even considered friends...and clung to them: Chocolate to name one (or two since I can love dark chocolate as much as the rich creamy milk)!  Although the new findings are...chocolate is good for your heart.....just maybe not mine!

Slay some dragons......

Seize the Day

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I Just Can't Help Myself.....

See #82??
That's my boy! 

Tight end for Eastern Washington University......I love it when he does his job and Eastern runs the ball off that very block.

I also love it when he gets held...and his shoulder pad is hanging out of his jersey....and he walks around nonchalant like.....showing the refs they might want to pay closer attention....

It stops my heart...just a beat.... to look up and see my boy on the big screen score board.

I get a catch in my throat when the ESPN announcer says."That's red shirt freshman, Jake Withnell, from Salem, Oregon...."

Raising this son has had its moments...sleepless nights from the moment of conception.  Hardly a dull moment as I've cheered him on at basketball games, baseball games, football games, agility trials.  I home schooled him three years before middle school beckoned.  The whole journey of raising up to then stand aside and watch soar, its been one of the two greatest achievements in my life, providing value and meaning and deep pride....but the greatest gift has been experiencing mama love to the fullest!  And the best part of mama love is.....that never goes away. 

I'm also amazed that my children have ended up being my heroes.  Each in their own ways.  My #82 has drive, perseverance, discipline and a deep sense of team mixed with great passion for competition and excellence.  He pushes me to be more: to dig a little deeper and work a little smarter and leave nothing on the field.  So in between working a few dogs.....I'm catching football games.  And yes, I'm "that" mom that will paint her face and yell at the refs and do those silly cheers...."First Down...Eagles"  Football does that to me.....I just can't help myself.

Seize the Day!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


Oh so many areas of my life: all about synchronization!

First, after swearing up and down I would not lamb again until I lived where my sheep live....I've had those needed months post-partum to settle down, stop with the over-reacting, and realize if I want fresh lambs, I must lamb out ewes.  Thanks to a good bestie from Kenleigh Acres Farm, (she who I swear is Laura Lawson's sister) I was lead down the path of good information and changes in CIDR use protocol based on scientific evidence....meaning, I was not using my CIDRs in a manor that was effective. Since buying my first group of CIDRs....the makers have learned that what they taught me then was really for folks who lived on the equator.  I'm on the 45 parallel and need more time and hormone injections...oh, that explains it!  Hence why I put 5 CIDRs in last winter and lambed out three ewes.....the sellers of the CIDRs are now saying there is a better way.  Or at least that is what they have assured me.  So I am toying with Father Time and meddling with Mother Nature, yet again.  Not following the procedure to the exact formula because I seem to have lost my ability to count, but 10 days in on the CIDR inserts followed by an injection of PG 600 and I should be lambing 15 ewes in a week.  Hoping the ram is as virile as Melinda says he is and can cover 5 ewes a day, every other day.  TMI? 

Second, I continue my attempts to find synchronicity in my shedding.  I had the opportunity to drive 10 hours to get a quick tune up with "he who has taught me to shed."  He is a pretty darn good shedder himself...can explain things well enough for me to understand...and my never ending list of questions don't seem to perplex him more than a yellow jacket sting would. It was fun to have him catch the wisps of fog that were floating in my brain as I could see, yet not clearly, what I was missing:  that oh so elusive ingredient. SNAP..why didn't I think of that.  I was so intent on shedding that I was missing the fact each of my dogs has a bit different method of shedding and different issues that need addressed.  Bella is hunting the hole and is coming through very nicely......but if the hole manifests and it is not the sheep I really want, indeed it is the sheep I get, as she anticipates and executes.  Very carefully, I will begin to add in some challenges all the while making sure she continues to be my willing partner intent on keeping her confidence up, and us moving together in a directions of team work and understanding.  Nell is pushing a bit, so my method will be a little different with her.  I've been working on shedding as I get ready for the finals.  I know that is an area that I need work on, and it also is something my dogs are beginning to love to maybe that is a win/win instead of drilling the heck out of my dogs.  I'll see soon enough.

Where the finals seemed far away, so far that it felt like I might never get there.  Now, the days can not go slow enough.  I'm trying to breath and enjoy the journey and as always

Seize the Day!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Pause to Reflect

I was busy today engaging in frivolity and thinking of my next post.  Synchronicity, Getting Ready, Working Really Working, Chicken Musing, College Football...all those "things" that make up my life right now.  Attention grabbers, distractors, goes on.  Tomorrow....a day to remember for me, not because of hate, or retaliation, or holding onto a grudge.  A day that deserves a moment to honor those, remember those who lost their lives; lives that meant something.  A day to stop and remember to take personal inventory of what is really, relationships, forgiveness, hope, belief....."In case I don't see you all again, I want you to know I love you very, very much!" Always a great reminder to cherish today...... I believe.....

Seize the Day!