This morning, I wish I had some of Eminem's word magic so I could weave some wicked lyrical pictures for my 2013 farewell party. No such luck, and maybe for the best anyway!
Erin Stutland encourages me to make a top five list of what I loved about 2013. I find it hard to whittle 365 days of experience down to a top five list. I look to my vision board and find a year well lived with intention and purpose. I qualified both Nell and Bella to run at the Finals. I found personal courage to dig deep and face life head on. I've found the most amazing support system of friends that not only encourage me to be more (or less as the case might be) but come along side me to see me through: helping at the airport so I would be comfortable flying dogs, driving days on end, welcoming impromptu visits, listening and talking through stinking thinking, trying to understand my college football passion all the while supporting the crazies......the list goes on. I've re-carpeted some of the house and actually made a guest bedroom with newly painted walls and a comfy bed. I've found some bones.
Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map is what's been in my mind as I look towards 2014. I've never spruced up my vision board using "how do you want to feel" as any sort of reference point. That idea is a little uncomfortable to me when I look at the question from a first glance, superficial point of view. I've spent my life trying to feel comfortable, liked, pain-free. I've wrapped myself in a protective covering, built walls, and a list of other actions that really did not actually make me feel a certain way nor did they keep me from feeling anything. I've been digging a little deeper on this "how do you want to feel" question and find that the answers I am uncovering aren't about NOT feeling...which is sort of what I was trying to do if I really look at things.
How do I want to feel? Healthy, strong, hungry, learning, drama-free, adventurous, focused, mindful, sharp, prepared, BADASS, improved, authentic. For the things I long for, I know I need to be; so instead of building walls, maybe I'll build a small bridge with discernment as the gatekeeper. I also know I can risk, all the while checking in for function and health.
I know the thoughts I think are the sails filled with the wind of life, directing my boat. My muscle memory of self talk needs positive core strength development. I know, too well, I can be my hardest critique and my own worst enemy, which has allowed for some boundary-less endeavors. I wonder if 2014 might be about quitting.....letting go......trying softer......in the drama side of life. Having a bit of an overthinker side to me, some of modern technology seems to create or, at the least, allow more compulsion. I ponder cold turkey or healthy boundary...but wonder if Facebook, with its competition posturing side, might be like sugar or crack.....better not even sampled as that one taste becomes a whole cake day after day. I believe for 2014 I will follow some of my friends in the path of deeper relationships, even if it means fewer superficial.
I've two days left to finish thinking about what I'd like to write on my blank pages of the coming year. The opening line will type itself if I'm not diligent to living a life filled with my dreams unfolding, The feeling words: healthy, strong, hungry, learning, drama-free, adventurous, focused, mindful, sharp, prepared, BADASS, improved, authentic, leave plenty of room for creativity to the dreams the words are attached to. I say....bring on 2014!
Seize the Day!!!!
Spot March 2017; Listening; Hearing
15 hours ago