Sunday, July 12, 2015

Sounds Like Life.....

On Tuesday, I said "see you later" to my best friend and helped her cross the rainbow bridge.  She had been falling, was getting stuck in the doggie door, and couldn't get that back leg up under her back end resulting in a lot of front end scooting.  I took her out to the new ranch knowing that I might find some answers out there.....and I did.  As I lifted Snook from the car, gently setting her down by the barn, she wandered a bit, falling more than usual from the terrain and rocks and rolling hills.  She wandered back to the car and asked to be put back in.  I my heart of hearts, it was time.

I brought Snook home wondering what I could do to help her celebrate her life and send her off knowing the depth of my gratitude and love.  I'd kept her far longer than any spin on the sheep, so we had a sprinkler party instead.  Her standing and snapping at the water drops as the stream flew by on it's next round.  The thing about Snook was, she was all about fun but wanted me to always be a part of it.  As she snapped at the water, she would glance over as if to ask, "did you see that?!"  My other dogs are more independent, but Snook, I was the center of her life from day one.  Being a big girl, she was always front seat ride-along dog....and I liked it that way.  She was never a dog to run ahead unless sent in fun.  She excelled in arena trials..where I could be right there....together a team of friendship and trust.  That was my Snook girl.  In later life, as age and pain made truck rides too hard on her, she would lay by the door waiting for me to return from my chores and trips.  She always knew I'd be back so she would wait.

After our fun in the water, we went to Dairy Queen, Snook and me.  We shared an ice-cream and cuddled in the back of the car.  It was a good day.  I miss her now...her bed by the side of my bed is empty.  Her food bowl sits on the counter, and the arms length of pill bottles are lined up right next to it.  I'm not ready to change much....the change will happen soon enough with the big move.  The dogs adjust but aren't as edgy as I though they would be.  I think Snook's lack of mobility had already changed the pack's dynamics.  Regardless, I miss her beyond words and I can't seem to stop missing her.  I'm working on the good and fabulous memories...which there are many....but the sadness shadows them.  I need to write her life out, sort through my is just taking time to be ready to go there.

But life goes on.....the dog yard is almost finished at the new place and I'm moving.  It's a good distraction, a noble distraction...a dream come true distraction.  On the day's I'm not making a load with the stock trailer, I am weeding and getting fields ready for sheep.  I'm taking the dogs out and letting them run around while I work.....getting them used to the idea of the move.  They LOVE it out much to do and a bit of trouble to get into.  I have NOT taken them to the pond yet.....I don't want Sis, the water dog to know about it just yet.

As much as I love and miss Snook, I know, as long as I live.....I need to seize each day.  I am making memories and building relationships each and every day.  I think that is the passing gift Snook gave me: to not dwell on the sadness and missing and wishing things were different......instead to find the gifts in what is for the today.  For me, it is a choice....mindful living, seizing the day.  I think the dogs help me do most certainly is how they live.  And somehow, I want to believe that Snook is right here with me in spirit......enjoying the move in her perfect Heavenly body........or at the least smiling down from Heaven knowing how much she is deeply loved.

Seize the Day!!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015


A couple weeks ago, I read NVShadowBCs-Noggin' Doggin blog...."not a destination, but rather a way of TRAVELING."  It's a good read....I love how she lives her life....authentic, real, focused on allowing for amazing (my view of her life).  One time, a few years back, at a sheepdog trial, we talked about creating a MECA....and here she is her dream.  She wrote to my comment,  "When I started out, there were very little resources for this journey.  I looked at what I didn't have.  Being surrounded by positive mentors/open hands opened my eyes, all the components were here all along.  Just in a different form.  The right set of glasses and viola a Mecca."

My husband always tells me, when you are mountain biking, you need to look at where you want to go.  If you look at what you don't want to hit, you hit it. But if you look ahead to where you want to go.....that is where you end up. I find life is a lot like that as well......takes some discipline to look where you want to go.

I've loved my little slice of Heaven out in the country.  It was big enough to train dogs and small enough for me to manage, mostly by myself.  As the kids left home, and I began to get a little older, the driving to and fro left me making changes to accommodate the responsibilities of home life.  Last year, I gave up on lambing; this year, I cut back on numbers.  My dream was to live where the sheep live......maintain one able to walk out to tuck the chickens in for the night instead of driving 15 minutes one way.  The quest began about 5 years ago and got real serious in the past two.  I haunted multiple listing sights and stalked Zillow.  We checked out property in Scio; amazing, beautiful, serene...then I asked my hubby to visualize the drive home from work on a rainy winter day in December, when the dark pulls the covers up good at all.

I began to feel like Goldilocks.......this one is too small, this one is too far out, this one too much money, this one is too NOT ME!  I'm country....not big beautiful show piece of a home girl.  Harvesting Christmas trees with a helicopter on the 20 acres right next to the house doesn't work for me either.  I mean who can do outruns though Christmas trees??

A realtor friend had called us two years ago about a place she was listing. At that time, I was not interested.  After searching for two years and narrowing the musts between the two of us...when the for sale sign was put at the entry....I called our friend.  And the rest is they say.

I'm not a girl that cries easily but there are days when I tear up about the amazing journey that brought me to my new home.  Hubby laughs and says he did not ever think in a million years we would find a place that met both of our "Must Lists" needing a barn and property for the sheep and dog work....him needing a doable drive to work and room for his hobbies.  When I travel with the dogs or do outside work, the place is close enough for hubby to help with dogs left home.  All the little details addressed as if the whole place were built for ME!

The barn was built in 1863 and has been restored on the outside.  I've always wanted a historical home but knew it could be a marriage stressor.....things can go so wrong with history in a house. But the barn....sigh.....I can futz around to my heart's content, chatting with the resident barn owl and listening for voices from the past as the hay was put in, horses tended and later, cows milked.

I find it hard to put into words the amazingness of this journey.  The feelings of blessing and gratitude and amazement overwhelm me in that good deep down in my soul way.  I know there are new journeys to seize, things to sort, creativity to find....but for now.....I feel like I have come HOME.

Indeed....."the right set of glasses".

Seize the Day!!!!