On Tuesday, I said "see you later" to my best friend and helped her cross the rainbow bridge. She had been falling, was getting stuck in the doggie door, and couldn't get that back leg up under her back end resulting in a lot of front end scooting. I took her out to the new ranch knowing that I might find some answers out there.....and I did. As I lifted Snook from the car, gently setting her down by the barn, she wandered a bit, falling more than usual from the terrain and rocks and rolling hills. She wandered back to the car and asked to be put back in. I knew......in my heart of hearts, it was time.
I brought Snook home wondering what I could do to help her celebrate her life and send her off knowing the depth of my gratitude and love. I'd kept her far longer than any spin on the sheep, so we had a sprinkler party instead. Her standing and snapping at the water drops as the stream flew by on it's next round. The thing about Snook was, she was all about fun but wanted me to always be a part of it. As she snapped at the water, she would glance over as if to ask, "did you see that?!" My other dogs are more independent, but Snook, I was the center of her life from day one. Being a big girl, she was always front seat ride-along dog....and I liked it that way. She was never a dog to run ahead unless sent in fun. She excelled in arena trials..where I could be right there....together a team of friendship and trust. That was my Snook girl. In later life, as age and pain made truck rides too hard on her, she would lay by the door waiting for me to return from my chores and trips. She always knew I'd be back so she would wait.
After our fun in the water, we went to Dairy Queen, Snook and me. We shared an ice-cream and cuddled in the back of the car. It was a good day. I miss her now...her bed by the side of my bed is empty. Her food bowl sits on the counter, and the arms length of pill bottles are lined up right next to it. I'm not ready to change much....the change will happen soon enough with the big move. The dogs adjust but aren't as edgy as I though they would be. I think Snook's lack of mobility had already changed the pack's dynamics. Regardless, I miss her beyond words and I can't seem to stop missing her. I'm working on the good and fabulous memories...which there are many....but the sadness shadows them. I need to write her life out, sort through my pictures.....it is just taking time to be ready to go there.
But life goes on.....the dog yard is almost finished at the new place and I'm moving. It's a good distraction, a noble distraction...a dream come true distraction. On the day's I'm not making a load with the stock trailer, I am weeding and getting fields ready for sheep. I'm taking the dogs out and letting them run around while I work.....getting them used to the idea of the move. They LOVE it out there...so much to do and a bit of trouble to get into. I have NOT taken them to the pond yet.....I don't want Sis, the water dog to know about it just yet.
As much as I love and miss Snook, I know, as long as I live.....I need to seize each day. I am making memories and building relationships each and every day. I think that is the passing gift Snook gave me: to not dwell on the sadness and missing and wishing things were different......instead to find the gifts in what is for the today. For me, it is a choice....mindful living, seizing the day. I think the dogs help me do that...it most certainly is how they live. And somehow, I want to believe that Snook is right here with me in spirit......enjoying the move in her perfect Heavenly body........or at the least smiling down from Heaven knowing how much she is deeply loved.
Spot March 2017; Listening; Hearing
15 hours ago