Live A Good Story......

The Blog of Impossible Things has caught my attention...and in a timely manner, thank you very much.  First World Problems provided perfect over thinking fodder for a long drive to Trailing of the Sheep.  I had been looking forward to TOTS for quite some time; when I got the call from Don Helsley that I was in, there was a waiting list, and was I sure I wanted to come.....I think my happy dance and party of "yes, I got in!" said enough. After NOT putting Bella on that special list at the finals that would have had her running......and all the bad things Bella said to me about my lack....I was very excited to get her on fine wool sheep for the second time at a trial, and see how she handled sheep that pushed back a bit.  As I drove, I thought about my "first world problems"...you know those tiny bitty nonsense things in life that, if allowed, can become bigger and potentially all consuming.  Very much like a hot air balloon, when not inflated fits in a box; yet filled with hot air can block the view of amazing splendor.  They are quite beautiful, yes, and can serve a purpose...yet imagine having hot air balloons, filled and sitting in the back yard day in and day out. Not seeing anything but big multicolored man-made balloons, and all the energy that goes into keeping them filled with hot air.....overwhelming, distracting, fake, bigger than life, and not how I want to live.  As I drove on, I pondered how to put those hot air balloons back into their boxes and possibly consider shipping some of them back to their manufacturing companies.  How does sheepdog training and trialing fit into living a good story without a focus on First World Problems??

A friend of mine told me a story of one of his runs at Trailing of the Sheep.  He had a rogue ewe that ended up running back up into the mountains on one of his runs.....his story was a good one, reminding me that if indeed, I made it to TOTS, my "goals" would need to be realistic and "myself" to not be taken too serious! After my two runs with Nell at the finals, I was looking forward to relaxing, experimenting and taking some self imposed, first world pressure off myself.

The days dawned early, those in charge of the trial "morning people" and just as important, conscientious about getting all 54 dogs their time on the field. It was cool watching the sheep get moved from the overnight pen to the top end, in the dark, only the lights of the four wheelers giving a glimpse of ghost-like sheep moving in and out of the foggy, dust swirl they were creating. The first day, Nell ran early and I loved how we worked together....getting around with a nice shed..but no pen.  The day showed how challenging the sheep were....not a pen was to be had.  A very good friend texted me that he was seeing consistency in Nell....time to get to work on what points I was leaving on the field. 

Bella, Bella...Bella Mia.....let's just say "she brought them"!  She was tense and lit and I walked, much to the surprise of the announcer and the judge and the exhaust.....I was getting around but with no "relationship", it was the tense Bella show.  Bella was on her own agenda...so I walked.  And I thought.....life is about "relationship".....how do I "get" Bella to want to work with me??  She is so different from Nell, not that Nell hasn't had days, months, years of thinking it would be better if I sat in the truck while she ran.  How do I get in Bella's head?  What does Bella need from me?  What I do know is: I would rather not run her than have her run all over the sheep and me...and I believe she does this out of tension and not naughtiness.  In the instant of a lift, she turned nice sheep into wolf-fearing, reactionary sheep...and kept that theme on the first end of the fetch.  Once settled, the tension was dipped into time and again, her dysfunctional habit of dealing with stress. I get it...I live Bella's life...I love chocolate and birthday cake when my sheep of life get out of control......neither of our reactions to stress provide the desired outcome and I think we both feel like crap when it is over!

After watching, then not watching, my first run with Bella from LaCamas, I have been searching my soul as to which first world issues keep me from doing what my dog needs at a trial and staying at the post, filling hot air balloons instead.  Ego?  Pride?  That crazy, bitchy side of myself that wants to "make" my dog?  The balloon fills to capacity when I look at "others" and their journey with their dogs.  The cool, quiet, beautiful people who pip along while their dogs lie down with the enthusiasm that one of mine would eat bacon! And then I open the escape hatch....the hot air rises and the balloon deflates....becoming just the material that can be folded and put back into that box that needs a shipping label to get the hell out of here.  My dogs, my journey..funny how I have just what I need to become;....and maybe just maybe, as I live a good, honest story and keep digging deep with my relationship with Bella, I can find the ability to keep on, find answers in myself and along the way, to be as kind and forgiving of myself as I am of my dog.

Seize the Day!


You're My Best Friend...Part 2

Indeed the 2012 USBCHA Finals were quite the ride.  Nell made it through the first round and finished mid-pack in the semi-final round.  She gave me her all and I must admit..I enjoyed running her.  I most certainly feel blessed to have a few nice dogs and folks that believe and invest in my partnerships. There is so much more that I am experiencing post-finals...maybe the words will come with time but for now I'm just treasuring my two runs for how I remember them.  With finals blogging and live-streaming and a world full of critics...I'm thinking enough "other" has been said. 

The very best part of the finals, for me.....was watching and celebrating my friend's and their success.  It was super cool to have a group of "rookie" friends who made it to the finals for their very first time...hence the "rookie" brand.  I'm proud and amazed at all my friends who conquered their fears and walked to the post to send their dogs....some at the time of day where even the best of hands struggled.  I cheered with pride as a handful of us "rookies" made it to the semi-finals.  Each of us, with our own journeys, our own goals, our own dragons...being counted amongst the top forty teams.  And the rookie who runs his dog as if riding a wave, he dug deep and made it to the last day......they say it's a Cinderella story....somehow that minimizes the work and effort that team has put in. 

I also was witness to the other spectrum of dog trialing......you know...the runs that don't go as planned and most certainly not as visualized.  And yet, again I am awed and humbled by the grace, dignity and character that my friends exhibited as they walked off the field.  Even those who did well with what they were given, yet it was not enough for the nod to the next level....those disappointed and yet able to celebrate, encourage, and cheer on their friends, were unsung heroes.  I wonder if they know how they touched my life?  They most certainly have left a fingerprint that I hope doesn't wash off.  At the end of the day, may I be as full of strong character.

Keeping it real, there was a lot of "other" stuff going on for me during the week. I don't live in a Willy Wonka world, though I do work at trying to see the good: lifting my eyes to see the beauty on this journey called my life.  Yes, Susan, trialing is about the sheep.  It is about seeing what you can do with the packet of sheep your are dealt.  But life...oh life....it is about becoming and along the way I am ever so thankful for my friends. I want to remember that the trialing is just the thin layer of icing but the cake is really what matters.   Its the substance and foundation and determines the quality of the final dessert presentation.  Dogs, family and True Friends......a good cup of coffee and a bite of chocolate.......Today, I lift my eyes, give thanks and find that my cake of life is good.......

Seize the day!

You're My Best Friend.....

Ooh you make me live
 

 

 

Whatever this world can give to me
 

It's you, you're all I see
 

Ooh you make me live now honey
 

 

 

Ooh you're the best friend that I ever had
 

I've been with you such a long time
 

You're my sunshine and I want you to know
 

That my feelings are true
 

I really love you
 

Oh you're my best friend

Seize the Day!!!!

Slaying Dragons.....

I'm amazed at how much over-thinking goes into making posts that aren't filled with it!  I'm not the best at superficial.  Oh well, today it is all about real, transparent, authentic and yes a bit of over thinking exercises to get those muscles ready for use.  The finals are now less than a week away.

I've been talking to a few "athletic" friends....folks who compete at an intense level in their sport: runners, football players, and a sports psychologist or two.  Now not all of these folks are talking to me with facetime.  Some are on my iPod but still they speak truth.  A few weeks ago, I was asked, "what are you really afraid of?:  Not Pollyanna answers such as 'heights' and 'yellow jackets' but the dig deep answers of what holds you back from being all you can be.  Until those dragons can be identified, hunted down and slayed....or at the very least taserred.....then peak mental performance will be hindered to some degree. 

As I work towards the finals, I have been working more on me than my dogs.  I love the fact that the finals are just a pull-over view point on the scenic route of our relationship with my dogs.    It is not a destination, nor an ending, nor does it define me or my dogs......I get that with my girls.  Thankfully, this relationship with my dogs is not defined by expectation or productivity from their perspective! That is one of the many gifts of dogs.

On the other hand, I bring 40+ years to the table......growing up in a highly competitive family and then all the nuances that make up me from my lifetime.  Addressing "FEAR"...fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what ifs....has been interesting, to use that word ever so lightly.  I shared some of my fears with a friend and talked about how not much of any of them are valid.  But until I find them and sort them...they most certainly linger and, like the compost pile Miss Grace loves to roll in, leave a bit of stink. 

As I look around at the top hands I respect ever so much; those that let me have a glimpse of their mind games, I wonder.  What mental discipline plays into their "performance"?  I'm lucky to have mentors willing to talk...and also just as lucky to have access to other pro's from other walks of life.  What separates those that go on to live life to its fullest from those that settle for mediocrity?  I'm not of the belief it is all talent...there are enough of those with limited talent that achieve greatness through discipline and intense desire for excellence (they do indeed work hard).  There are also those of incredible talent that never get to the next level from lack of the very same.  But what is that "thing"?

I'm still hunting my dragons.  They are clever creatures.....very chameleon like in their ability to blend in with my functional foundation.  Some I've even considered friends...and clung to them: Chocolate to name one (or two since I can love dark chocolate as much as the rich creamy milk)!  Although the new findings are...chocolate is good for your heart.....just maybe not mine!

Slay some dragons......

Seize the Day

I Just Can't Help Myself.....

 

See #82??

 

That's my boy! 

 



 

Tight end for Eastern Washington University......I love it when he does his job and Eastern runs the ball off that very block.

I also love it when he gets held...and his shoulder pad is hanging out of his jersey....and he walks around nonchalant like.....showing the refs they might want to pay closer attention....

It stops my heart...just a beat.... to look up and see my boy on the big screen score board.

I get a catch in my throat when the ESPN announcer says."That's red shirt freshman, Jake Withnell, from Salem, Oregon...."

Raising this son has had its moments...sleepless nights from the moment of conception.  Hardly a dull moment as I've cheered him on at basketball games, baseball games, football games, agility trials.  I home schooled him three years before middle school beckoned.  The whole journey of raising up to then stand aside and watch soar, its been one of the two greatest achievements in my life, providing value and meaning and deep pride....but the greatest gift has been experiencing mama love to the fullest!  And the best part of mama love is.....that never goes away. 

I'm also amazed that my children have ended up being my heroes.  Each in their own ways.  My #82 has drive, perseverance, discipline and a deep sense of team mixed with great passion for competition and excellence.  He pushes me to be more: to dig a little deeper and work a little smarter and leave nothing on the field.  So in between working a few dogs.....I'm catching football games.  And yes, I'm "that" mom that will paint her face and yell at the refs and do those silly cheers...."First Down...Eagles"  Football does that to me.....I just can't help myself.

Seize the Day!

Synchronicity

Oh yes...in so many areas of my life: all about synchronization!

First, after swearing up and down I would not lamb again until I lived where my sheep live....I've had those needed months post-partum to settle down, stop with the over-reacting, and realize if I want fresh lambs, I must lamb out ewes.  Thanks to a good bestie from Kenleigh Acres Farm, (she who I swear is Laura Lawson's sister) I was lead down the path of good information and changes in CIDR use protocol based on scientific evidence....meaning, I was not using my CIDRs in a manor that was effective. Since buying my first group of CIDRs....the makers have learned that what they taught me then was really for folks who lived on the equator.  I'm on the 45 parallel and need more time and hormone injections...oh, that explains it!  Hence why I put 5 CIDRs in last winter and lambed out three ewes.....the sellers of the CIDRs are now saying there is a better way.  Or at least that is what they have assured me.  So I am toying with Father Time and meddling with Mother Nature, yet again.  Not following the procedure to the exact formula because I seem to have lost my ability to count, but 10 days in on the CIDR inserts followed by an injection of PG 600 and I should be lambing 15 ewes in a week.  Hoping the ram is as virile as Melinda says he is and can cover 5 ewes a day, every other day.  TMI? 

Second, I continue my attempts to find synchronicity in my shedding.  I had the opportunity to drive 10 hours to get a quick tune up with "he who has taught me to shed."  He is a pretty darn good shedder himself...can explain things well enough for me to understand...and my never ending list of questions don't seem to perplex him more than a yellow jacket sting would. It was fun to have him catch the wisps of fog that were floating in my brain as I could see, yet not clearly, what I was missing:  that oh so elusive ingredient. SNAP..why didn't I think of that.  I was so intent on shedding that I was missing the fact each of my dogs has a bit different method of shedding and different issues that need addressed.  Bella is hunting the hole and is coming through very nicely......but if the hole manifests and it is not the sheep I really want, indeed it is the sheep I get, as she anticipates and executes.  Very carefully, I will begin to add in some challenges all the while making sure she continues to be my willing partner intent on keeping her confidence up, and us moving together in a directions of team work and understanding.  Nell is pushing a bit, so my method will be a little different with her.  I've been working on shedding as I get ready for the finals.  I know that is an area that I need work on, and it also is something my dogs are beginning to love to do...so maybe that is a win/win instead of drilling the heck out of my dogs.  I'll see soon enough.

Where the finals seemed far away, so far that it felt like I might never get there.  Now, the days can not go slow enough.  I'm trying to breath and enjoy the journey and as always

Seize the Day!

Pause to Reflect

I was busy today engaging in frivolity and thinking of my next post.  Synchronicity, Getting Ready, Working Really Working, Chicken Musing, College Football...all those "things" that make up my life right now.  Attention grabbers, distractors, sidetrackers....life goes on.  Tomorrow....a day to remember for me, not because of hate, or retaliation, or holding onto a grudge.  A day that deserves a moment to honor those, remember those who lost their lives; lives that meant something.  A day to stop and remember to take personal inventory of what is really important....love, relationships, forgiveness, hope, belief....."In case I don't see you all again, I want you to know I love you very, very much!" Always a great reminder to cherish today...... I believe.....





Seize the Day!