Slaying Dragons.....

I'm amazed at how much over-thinking goes into making posts that aren't filled with it!  I'm not the best at superficial.  Oh well, today it is all about real, transparent, authentic and yes a bit of over thinking exercises to get those muscles ready for use.  The finals are now less than a week away.

I've been talking to a few "athletic" friends....folks who compete at an intense level in their sport: runners, football players, and a sports psychologist or two.  Now not all of these folks are talking to me with facetime.  Some are on my iPod but still they speak truth.  A few weeks ago, I was asked, "what are you really afraid of?:  Not Pollyanna answers such as 'heights' and 'yellow jackets' but the dig deep answers of what holds you back from being all you can be.  Until those dragons can be identified, hunted down and slayed....or at the very least taserred.....then peak mental performance will be hindered to some degree. 

As I work towards the finals, I have been working more on me than my dogs.  I love the fact that the finals are just a pull-over view point on the scenic route of our relationship with my dogs.    It is not a destination, nor an ending, nor does it define me or my dogs......I get that with my girls.  Thankfully, this relationship with my dogs is not defined by expectation or productivity from their perspective! That is one of the many gifts of dogs.

On the other hand, I bring 40+ years to the table......growing up in a highly competitive family and then all the nuances that make up me from my lifetime.  Addressing "FEAR"...fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what ifs....has been interesting, to use that word ever so lightly.  I shared some of my fears with a friend and talked about how not much of any of them are valid.  But until I find them and sort them...they most certainly linger and, like the compost pile Miss Grace loves to roll in, leave a bit of stink. 

As I look around at the top hands I respect ever so much; those that let me have a glimpse of their mind games, I wonder.  What mental discipline plays into their "performance"?  I'm lucky to have mentors willing to talk...and also just as lucky to have access to other pro's from other walks of life.  What separates those that go on to live life to its fullest from those that settle for mediocrity?  I'm not of the belief it is all talent...there are enough of those with limited talent that achieve greatness through discipline and intense desire for excellence (they do indeed work hard).  There are also those of incredible talent that never get to the next level from lack of the very same.  But what is that "thing"?

I'm still hunting my dragons.  They are clever creatures.....very chameleon like in their ability to blend in with my functional foundation.  Some I've even considered friends...and clung to them: Chocolate to name one (or two since I can love dark chocolate as much as the rich creamy milk)!  Although the new findings are...chocolate is good for your heart.....just maybe not mine!

Slay some dragons......

Seize the Day

I Just Can't Help Myself.....

 

See #82??

 

That's my boy! 

 



 

Tight end for Eastern Washington University......I love it when he does his job and Eastern runs the ball off that very block.

I also love it when he gets held...and his shoulder pad is hanging out of his jersey....and he walks around nonchalant like.....showing the refs they might want to pay closer attention....

It stops my heart...just a beat.... to look up and see my boy on the big screen score board.

I get a catch in my throat when the ESPN announcer says."That's red shirt freshman, Jake Withnell, from Salem, Oregon...."

Raising this son has had its moments...sleepless nights from the moment of conception.  Hardly a dull moment as I've cheered him on at basketball games, baseball games, football games, agility trials.  I home schooled him three years before middle school beckoned.  The whole journey of raising up to then stand aside and watch soar, its been one of the two greatest achievements in my life, providing value and meaning and deep pride....but the greatest gift has been experiencing mama love to the fullest!  And the best part of mama love is.....that never goes away. 

I'm also amazed that my children have ended up being my heroes.  Each in their own ways.  My #82 has drive, perseverance, discipline and a deep sense of team mixed with great passion for competition and excellence.  He pushes me to be more: to dig a little deeper and work a little smarter and leave nothing on the field.  So in between working a few dogs.....I'm catching football games.  And yes, I'm "that" mom that will paint her face and yell at the refs and do those silly cheers...."First Down...Eagles"  Football does that to me.....I just can't help myself.

Seize the Day!

Synchronicity

Oh yes...in so many areas of my life: all about synchronization!

First, after swearing up and down I would not lamb again until I lived where my sheep live....I've had those needed months post-partum to settle down, stop with the over-reacting, and realize if I want fresh lambs, I must lamb out ewes.  Thanks to a good bestie from Kenleigh Acres Farm, (she who I swear is Laura Lawson's sister) I was lead down the path of good information and changes in CIDR use protocol based on scientific evidence....meaning, I was not using my CIDRs in a manor that was effective. Since buying my first group of CIDRs....the makers have learned that what they taught me then was really for folks who lived on the equator.  I'm on the 45 parallel and need more time and hormone injections...oh, that explains it!  Hence why I put 5 CIDRs in last winter and lambed out three ewes.....the sellers of the CIDRs are now saying there is a better way.  Or at least that is what they have assured me.  So I am toying with Father Time and meddling with Mother Nature, yet again.  Not following the procedure to the exact formula because I seem to have lost my ability to count, but 10 days in on the CIDR inserts followed by an injection of PG 600 and I should be lambing 15 ewes in a week.  Hoping the ram is as virile as Melinda says he is and can cover 5 ewes a day, every other day.  TMI? 

Second, I continue my attempts to find synchronicity in my shedding.  I had the opportunity to drive 10 hours to get a quick tune up with "he who has taught me to shed."  He is a pretty darn good shedder himself...can explain things well enough for me to understand...and my never ending list of questions don't seem to perplex him more than a yellow jacket sting would. It was fun to have him catch the wisps of fog that were floating in my brain as I could see, yet not clearly, what I was missing:  that oh so elusive ingredient. SNAP..why didn't I think of that.  I was so intent on shedding that I was missing the fact each of my dogs has a bit different method of shedding and different issues that need addressed.  Bella is hunting the hole and is coming through very nicely......but if the hole manifests and it is not the sheep I really want, indeed it is the sheep I get, as she anticipates and executes.  Very carefully, I will begin to add in some challenges all the while making sure she continues to be my willing partner intent on keeping her confidence up, and us moving together in a directions of team work and understanding.  Nell is pushing a bit, so my method will be a little different with her.  I've been working on shedding as I get ready for the finals.  I know that is an area that I need work on, and it also is something my dogs are beginning to love to do...so maybe that is a win/win instead of drilling the heck out of my dogs.  I'll see soon enough.

Where the finals seemed far away, so far that it felt like I might never get there.  Now, the days can not go slow enough.  I'm trying to breath and enjoy the journey and as always

Seize the Day!

Pause to Reflect

I was busy today engaging in frivolity and thinking of my next post.  Synchronicity, Getting Ready, Working Really Working, Chicken Musing, College Football...all those "things" that make up my life right now.  Attention grabbers, distractors, sidetrackers....life goes on.  Tomorrow....a day to remember for me, not because of hate, or retaliation, or holding onto a grudge.  A day that deserves a moment to honor those, remember those who lost their lives; lives that meant something.  A day to stop and remember to take personal inventory of what is really important....love, relationships, forgiveness, hope, belief....."In case I don't see you all again, I want you to know I love you very, very much!" Always a great reminder to cherish today...... I believe.....





Seize the Day!

Involve Me

Tell me: I forget

Show me: I remember

Involve me: I understand

 

Isn't that the truth...on so many different levels.  It sure sums me up, especially if I am driving somewhere new.  If I just follow along listening to my Australian girl Garmin chat along about when and where to turn, I don't think I could ever find the place again.  If I follow behind somebody, I might pay a little closer attention to the details along the way, yet still not get back to where I once belonged.  But if I am driving along, looking for landmarks and really paying attention following instructions said to me, written down by me.....it seems to stick with me.

 

That has brought me back to looking at my dogs and what we are doing.  Try and tell Bella something....it can get dicey.  I'm too old and out of shape to "show" her, so I must involve her.  We gathered a big mob of lambs to take to water and "telling" fell on deaf, know-it-all ears.  When she ended up way over her head....and got corrected for lacking thought or care.....Bella was ever so much more a partner: involved. 

 

At LaCamas I ran into a fellow blogger, follower, reader friend and she explained where she comes from, with regards to working dogs,  it is dry, arid, maybe even a bit "lonely" due to lack of fellowship.  Lack of fellowship more because of lack of numbers of sheepdog enthusiasts living there and not numbers lacking enthusiasm, or interest from those who do.  We dreamed of creating our own MECCA.....

As I look around me, from a more global view, I see little pockets of folks who have become like family.  The group from Idaho comes to mind: hauling sheep out to work in big fenceless places, groups of folks willing to share ideas and thoughts, and just as important, willing to listen as those ideas are sorted, chewed, digested: involvement.  Seems many of those sheepdog Meccas are built around folks who have been working at this for some time now.  That, and are willing to share.

Creating a Mecca...that has gotten me to thinking (in moderation mind you).  I fall victim to, "if only" on occasion when it comes to trialing, training, and working dogs.  If only I lived closer to a place where I could haul out; if only I could live closer to a ___________(insert top trainer's name); if only____the list could go on.  If only feels a bit like a really cheap excuse!  Funny because I have been reading the Impossible Blog and received this little morsel:
The next time you’re tempted to give up because you came up with a really good excuse. Ask yourself:

1. Would I believe this excuse if anyone else besides myself was saying it? (You wouldn’t).
2. Does this excuse even make any sense? (It doesn’t).
3. Am I really going to let this excuse stop me? (You shouldn’t).

Then keep going and don’t quit.

Your excuses are invalid


As I have thought about my short yet powerful passing conversation with my blogger friend, I wonder...how many people feel Mecca-less? Or maybe more uninvolved and "league-less"?  You know, that league of people you surround yourself with, believing in you even when you can't find it to believe in yourself.  That sort of hit me...a Mecca is a place where people want to go....maybe even a place that is bigger than life: sort of like Disneyland being the "happiest place on earth".  And a league is right here.....finding the possibility in the miracles of here...together, involving those who are looking for their league. There are days when I dig a little deeper to find those miracles and celebrate them, as they are enough.  Today is a day to be thankful for those who make up my league and stop with the "if only's".  It is a day to dive into being involved.....Building a Mecca....Creating a League.....life is too short to do less!

Seize the Day!!






Relationship.......

I just got home from LaCamas Valley Sheepdog Trial.....four days of the "best of times" and " the hottest I think I have ever been in my entire life" of times.  My fours days of trialing..yes four because Miss Nell gave me the honor of running on Sunday, but more of that later.....will provide me with enough fodder for blogging and overthinking to last me well into next week.

RELATIONSHIP:

Dictionary.com really let me down as I searched for a tangible definition of the word relationship.

the mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties

it is most certainly a start....

Nell came in 11th out of 90 dogs in the second go.....here is a brief look at the beginning of her run.
We'll pick this after her lift.......which she did with only a walk up for input. 

Me: thinking...hmm lets see if we can make this tidy "way"

Nell: "NO"

Me:  darn it you little quick footed flea bag "way"

Nell: "you asked for it....." give a tiny away to me and......let's go of the pressure causing the sheep to dart hard to the right....

Me: "come bye, come bye"...oh dear, I am so sorry for blowing that wrong flanks.  Please forgive me...darn it anyway. 

Nell:  "told you so!" in small letters because I believe she felt bad for my lack......

That only cost us time and three points.....she got them right back on line and well, she has become quite forgiving of me. She is also holding me accountable for my end of this "relationship".  If I were my own dog, I would be giving myself a good schooling right about now.  I think Buck Brannaman called it being particular.  I best be getting particular with my own program! I am learing to trust Nell....she is often right. 

Next dog.  So Bella came in 15th on her second time on the open field at LaCamas. The first time, being the day before, which ended in a handy little grip of a take down when we were attempting to get things settled for a shed.  This time we will pick this up as she comes to the top......after we had a little mind meld of me telling her "Bella you have to lie down at the top today" and she agreed whole-heartedly as she sort of looked like she might be ignoring me and spotting sheep on the runs prior. 

As Bella rounds the top....

Me:  "lie down"

Bella: hitch..."I got this!"

Me:  "Lie Down"

Bella: hitch..."I Got This!"

Me:  "YOU BETTER LIE DOWN"

Bella:  hitch "I GOT THIS"

Me: "YOU YOU YOU.....BETTER LIE DOWN"

Bella:  I am about 300 yards now from the gal who wants to run the show....about the distance where she has been known to hoof it up the field.....hmmmmm "sit down, back up on the feet hitched"

To be very honest here, I would love to run Bella with just steadies.  But at this point....if I give a steady...she takes a mile.  It's funny, I watched a top hand walk sheep around the course with two of his dogs at LaCamas. Oh and quietly without hardly a stop to be heard or seen.   I told him how much that spoke to me and that was my goal.  There were glimmers of walking sheep with Bella's second run....but she most definitely tried to run with her bit clenched between her teeth.  However, she did hold the line...pretty darn straight, hitting the fetch panels...and allowing me to get ahold of her and settle the sheep before doing so.  I really do not want to run sheep.....I'd like to have the run that comes from treating the sheep right from the first introduction.

These two dogs are so different in personality, work styles, biddability....Nell being not quite a year older than Bella, I always wonder about time and miles. I also ponder lambs and what they do to dogs.  And handlers and what their stops look like.  Really.  What their stops really look like.  And me, I know what I want my relationship to mean for each of my dogs.......I know they will be different in unique and wonderful ways.  The how's on getting there.....working without taking away.....getting without making.......the give and take of it all...can't be defined in a dictionary.....that I do know. And so now I look in the mirror....making a list of work for myself.  And wondering....what does one wear to a double lift?? 

Seize the Day!

A Word To Our Sponsors

I believe that in most people's lives....as they follow their dreams....there are days of darkness.  Days filled with self...analyzing, searching, challenging, struggling, doubting.  A part of every journey.....and then, the sweetness of believing, being lifted up by friends who don't mind the dark days and help push through to the small, daily victories.  Those friends are priceless to me...and they gathered together and sponsored my Bella and Nell for the finals!  In addition, I got a few notes:

"We believe in you and Nellie"

" A team is something you belong to, something you feel, something you have to earn"  You and Nell are a great team!"

Thank you for all the love, support and belief.....it keeps me going on those dark days of self question.  Dawn, Adele, Denise, Marilyn......you lift me up!

I stumbled upon a blog today.....The Blog of Impossible Things  Today's post spoke to me....

"Nothing is withheld from us which we have conceived to do.
Meaning: if you’ve conceived something in your mind, decide to do it, and are willing to put in the work – nothing can stop you."

"And I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference......"

Seize the Day!