My Snook dog is getting old. Her body is wasting and she does not get around like she used to. Some days I have to give her a boost to get her back legs under her so she can get around. I know I am living out her last days and I pray I'll know when she is ready. I'm finding creative ways to spend quality time with my best friend.
As I think over the past 12 years, I've begun to make a list of all that she has taught me. She was my first border collie; one I trained from start to finish...all the good points and mistakes are mine. She came into my life from a lady who rescued border collies. The big rescues not willing to let me adopt any of their dogs because I had Jack Russell Terriers and I was assured that was not a good mix. I was looking for a border collie to run in agility for my eldest son as my youngest son had been given one from a good friend. I drove the 6+ hours to George, Washington and when I met Snook, I knew I was taking her home.
10 months old, long legged, lanky red dog; I had no idea how she would change me life. Her story goes: a farmer had taken her and she kept running away from home. She was sent back to the breeder, who was sick, and so Snook was relinquished into rescue. She came to me afraid of men, afraid of loud noises, afraid yelling, afraid to pee or pooh anywhere but my back yard. My dreams for her to be a high drive, kick ass agility dog slowly melted as the teeter bang sent her into frenzied panic all the while she could not remember where her feet where and she tumbled off the dog walk.
LIFE LESSON ONE: FIND WHAT YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT AND DO IT!
After months of frustration working with different agility trainers to see if I could work through her fear issues and make her love agility, I called a dog behaviorist. She told me something along the lines of, "You have an agenda for you dog that might not be your dog's agenda." I hung up wondering what that could mean......Snook has an agenda? A few of my friends suggested I take her out to a local sheep farm and have the trainer put her on sheep. Maybe tapping into her instinctual side would help her with her fears. I was still nursing my agenda as I headed out to the sheep lesson; get Snook over her fears and into the agility ring....where we would be kick ass and awesome.
I made my sheep appointment and drove 45 minutes to the sheep ranch nervous and anxious but hopeful. That one day with Snook in the round pen and a bunch of sheep changed my life. Her first turn in, she would not work for the instructor so I had to take her in and she would barely follow me around. She was so afraid of the unfamiliar. My next time in, the instructor told me to chase the sheep around myself....and bam.....that little smallest of small lights ignited into a small flame and Snook was bending around to bring me sheep. I left my lesson knowing I have found something amazing.
Over the coming years, Snook and I dabbled in agility...she loved tunnels and jumpers with me running to try and keep up with her. But her days on sheep were what she lived for. She had found what she was passionate about and was sharing that passion with me. Her fears faded and our relationship grew stronger.
I think about what growing up was like for me......square peg trying to squeeze into round holes. I tried ballet as a young girl, then gymnastics....I too fell off the balance beam like my long legged, big boned, red dog's dog walk attempts. I was not talented and gifted at piano nor painting. I've spent a life time finding my passions and even then I work at letting go of expectation. I run but I am not fast. I've been raised and possibly genetically coded to believe that when I do anything, I want to do it well. My years have taught me that "well" is defined as my best and not compared to others. I arm wrestle with competition.....it is so hard to no compare: runs, dogs, scores, times, sizes, styles. I make conscious efforts to let go of comparison regularly.
Life lesson #1.....live my passion.....get caught up in experiencing each and every step of living a passionate life; m best passionate life. I remind myself of this daily, hourly, minutely, hoping that one day it will be my muscle memory.
Seize the Day!
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