It is hard to believe that it was three years ago, right now, when I first laid eyes on this homestead of mine. Some days, I kick myself for not taking pictures of the progress.......but pictures really never do justice to what was compared to what is now. Every year, I've ticked off the list of things to accomplish to get to THIS year......where the big list is, hopefully, marked as DONE! Next dry spell, fingers crossed, the fence guy is coming and will do a big blackberry genocide with is mulching machine and my south west fence will get gussied up and sheep secure. I've got a field improvement project lined out for July that will bring life back to the corner 6 acres. My dream has been to do a corner to corner outrun of somewhere close to 650 yards. Dreams come true, baby!
Spring is the time where my to-do list can feel overwhelming! I have to remind myself about the seasons of life...and also, there really isn't much else I'd love to be doing that the good soul work of this ranch. With my little bottle baby, who really is being fed by her mama pretty well now, there have been a lot of visitors to the ranch to feed her. The joy of this lamb, feeding chickens, gathering eggs.....amazing to share with the families that come out. They leave with a love for this life and I know in my heart...I've won. I've brought people closer to their roots of food source and how soul nourishing raising food can be. Time to put the garden in!!!
My bees did not do well over winter. Thank God I have a friend that was willing to do a bee co-op last year. I gave her most of my never ending splits and swarms and this year...she is giving two splits back. I'll re queen them all...especially the small hive I have left. Hoping to do that this coming week so the hive is good and strong come what blackberry season. I love having a good honey crop. The Queen dealer only has Italian queens right now so Italians it is for me. I might wait on one of the splits to see if I can drop in a Carni queen. The death of that hive was very sad for me this year.
The puppies are not really puppies any more, but they will always be to me. They are coming along nicely and yet are so different in work style. I love the challenge of seeing them for where they are and trying to challenge them and bring them along at their own pace. Sis is really fun right now. She feels good and is back to her very enthusiastic self. We are working on outruns and shedding......in additions to her being number one chore dog. Bella works a little but she is physically not able to do the hard things any more. In her head she is wonder dog...but her body just can't do the fast covers.
The biggest change here is Miss Gloria, my mini horse. After years of foundering in her past life, she was beginning to founder here and I have no where to dry lot her. She went to live with my cousin at a horse barn for a few weeks to get her off grass and see how she felt about being a horse without sheep friends....she did great. After weeks of not being able to get her over the mountain due to snow, Horses of Hope and I finally hooked up! They met Gloria, fell in love with her (like I totally knew they would!) and Miss G is now a therapy horse in their program. The stories they tell about the autistic kids and adults that have fallen in love with Gloria bring tears and joy that help fill the hole of not having her here. She really is such a special pony......I'm glad to have been what she needed when she needed it. Best news is....I get to see her regularly and I've joined the Horses of Hope board. I'm looking forward to that involvement over the coming years.
I've been doing the 5 minute journal for the past year......it starts in the morning with 3 things I am grateful for, 3 things that would make today great, and daily affirmations. "I see the tiniest of miracles and stop to celebrate them. I live in the moment, fully present." Oh there are days I fail miserably..... but those slices of miracles....it's a great life.
Seize the day.
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Ruminating on Letting Go
Lambing......I've been lambing for going on 12 years...well, I did take a 3 year break. I've lambed out up to 40 ewes of my own and helped a few sheep producers over the years lamb hundreds. To prepare for lambing, I've attended three "lambing days" hosted by OSU...all of which were fascinating but nothing prepares a gal for lambing like....lambing! Over the years, I've pulled all sorts of crazy presentations. I've been unable to get a lamb out and watch a vet destroy the ewe's uterus and pull the lamb apart...horror filled and yet amazed at the fragility of what I believed to be a process of strength. I've pulled mummy babies only to find two live lambs behind it. I've had crazy miraculous live births with a side dose of heartbreaking ends. I could go on and on telling stories just like every single other person who lambs for more than a year.
I decided to try my hand at lambing again this year. I've never lived where my sheep live and thought "how fun would night checks be...just climbing out of bed, checking, and climbing back in to slumber sound till the next check". Right?! And so I find myself in the midst of Lambing 2018.....having yet again experiencing issues I have never seen before. What did sheep producers do before google? All the ewes that are lambing now are four year olds but are first time lambers. With them never lambing before, they were fat going into being bred and super fat now that the babies are coming. I did not realize that fat ewes can create milk issues......according to Pipestone Vet who seem to be the THE authority on all things sheep. After a tough pull, opening a first timer's birth canal with two beautiful lambs...I find she has a big bag that is hard, not hot, and not producing enough milk for her babies. I've googled the heck out of this, given all the things to help her with milk production, supplemented her babies and just farmed the little ram lamb out hoping beyond hope that this ewe can find one baby...at least at night! Because my night check fantasy is getting really old, perhaps because I am a little older too!
And now, the last ewe is getting ready to go. Her vulva is swollen and red (TMI?), her udder is huge and super full, and she is bigger than big laying there chewing her cud taking time for the little mini contractions that are getting the babies lined out to be born, I hope! These hours are bitter sweet.....I'm praying that I can help her get her lambs out. She was a triplet herself so I lean on perhaps her girth is because she is carrying triplets too. I've got all my supplies lined out and I'm checking hourly all the while enjoying the last of the anticipation of lambs. The end to her story will be told soon enough.
For me, it is the closing of a chapter in my book of life. I think aging "gracefully" includes the biggest dose of letting go of things that no longer serve or perhaps more; letting go of things that are to be let go of. Lambing my own ewes here at home has been a great treat, I know what if feels like now after all the years of driving 7 miles to check ewes. It is time to simplify and letting go of lambing is just that. I don't want to hold onto something with my closed and clinging tight to an idea or experience when it might be time to just open my palm and let it go. For me, it's always easier to do the letting go thing if I have back up plans...so maybe next year, I'll head east and help friends lamb. I'll also buy in lambs to feed out and work dogs on.....sell them in the fall all nice and grown out while keeping a handful for winter dog work. It's a good plan and it eases my sadness of the closing of a really good chapter.
When I step back and look at my life, I really have had a great run at lambing. I've shared the adventure with some great friends and have the sweetest of memories to look back over when I miss it. I've never been the one who could just let the chips fall with lambing....I've lived the mantra, "when in doubt, pull them out" which many of my friends disagree with. One sheep producer culls anything that needs any help...while another won't help at all. I'm the far extreme, which is the side effect of my heart and fascination with the birth process. The feeling of helping a troubled ewe produce live lambs is minimized by saying its rewarding. And the depth of sadness of losing lambs is indescribable....I also second guess all the things I could have done different.
Once again, my life lessons of farm life bring me to becoming me. Finding the balance of intervention, knowing when to dig in and work harder, and then, when it is all said and done, embracing the seasons of life....and letting go.
Off to check the pot to see if its boiling! Living the last of the last.......and filled with gratitude because it's been one amazing ride. And so the last sentences are being written in my chapter of lambing.
Seize the day!!!
I decided to try my hand at lambing again this year. I've never lived where my sheep live and thought "how fun would night checks be...just climbing out of bed, checking, and climbing back in to slumber sound till the next check". Right?! And so I find myself in the midst of Lambing 2018.....having yet again experiencing issues I have never seen before. What did sheep producers do before google? All the ewes that are lambing now are four year olds but are first time lambers. With them never lambing before, they were fat going into being bred and super fat now that the babies are coming. I did not realize that fat ewes can create milk issues......according to Pipestone Vet who seem to be the THE authority on all things sheep. After a tough pull, opening a first timer's birth canal with two beautiful lambs...I find she has a big bag that is hard, not hot, and not producing enough milk for her babies. I've googled the heck out of this, given all the things to help her with milk production, supplemented her babies and just farmed the little ram lamb out hoping beyond hope that this ewe can find one baby...at least at night! Because my night check fantasy is getting really old, perhaps because I am a little older too!
And now, the last ewe is getting ready to go. Her vulva is swollen and red (TMI?), her udder is huge and super full, and she is bigger than big laying there chewing her cud taking time for the little mini contractions that are getting the babies lined out to be born, I hope! These hours are bitter sweet.....I'm praying that I can help her get her lambs out. She was a triplet herself so I lean on perhaps her girth is because she is carrying triplets too. I've got all my supplies lined out and I'm checking hourly all the while enjoying the last of the anticipation of lambs. The end to her story will be told soon enough.
For me, it is the closing of a chapter in my book of life. I think aging "gracefully" includes the biggest dose of letting go of things that no longer serve or perhaps more; letting go of things that are to be let go of. Lambing my own ewes here at home has been a great treat, I know what if feels like now after all the years of driving 7 miles to check ewes. It is time to simplify and letting go of lambing is just that. I don't want to hold onto something with my closed and clinging tight to an idea or experience when it might be time to just open my palm and let it go. For me, it's always easier to do the letting go thing if I have back up plans...so maybe next year, I'll head east and help friends lamb. I'll also buy in lambs to feed out and work dogs on.....sell them in the fall all nice and grown out while keeping a handful for winter dog work. It's a good plan and it eases my sadness of the closing of a really good chapter.
When I step back and look at my life, I really have had a great run at lambing. I've shared the adventure with some great friends and have the sweetest of memories to look back over when I miss it. I've never been the one who could just let the chips fall with lambing....I've lived the mantra, "when in doubt, pull them out" which many of my friends disagree with. One sheep producer culls anything that needs any help...while another won't help at all. I'm the far extreme, which is the side effect of my heart and fascination with the birth process. The feeling of helping a troubled ewe produce live lambs is minimized by saying its rewarding. And the depth of sadness of losing lambs is indescribable....I also second guess all the things I could have done different.
Once again, my life lessons of farm life bring me to becoming me. Finding the balance of intervention, knowing when to dig in and work harder, and then, when it is all said and done, embracing the seasons of life....and letting go.
Off to check the pot to see if its boiling! Living the last of the last.......and filled with gratitude because it's been one amazing ride. And so the last sentences are being written in my chapter of lambing.
Seize the day!!!
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