Okay, okay I got me a little Tom Petty on the brain today. Lambing season was Tom Petty too...the waiting is the hardest part. If life is a country song.....then Tom must be some southern rock country!
I've spent the summer with a few new friends. Many an evening was spent with Buck Brannaman, Ray Hunt, Tom Dorrance, and his brother Bill. Ideas were shared and, though based on horses and training, they crossed over the species barrier allowing me to find much application to dogs; more specifically my dogs. When I took a bigger step back and really looked at the ideas shared, not so surprisingly they transcended four legged species to include all of life. The emphasis was on relationship: digging deep and listening to the animal's feedback while presenting opportunity to learn at that animals pace of readiness. Tom Dorrance simply said, "people are like that too."
"The best thing I try to do for myself is to try and listen to the horse. I don't mean let him take over. I listen to how he's operating" What he's understanding or what he doesn't understand; what's bothering him and what isn't bother him. I try to feel what the horse is feeling and operate from where the horse is." ~ Tom Dorrance
When taking a break from these training writers, I filled in time with Deepak Chopra, James Loehr, Barabra Schulte......people who invested in my mind and how I think. "You attract what you are", Deepak told me. Brene Brown shared about shame resilience and ordinary courage, while Katherine Center shared what she might tell her "buck tooth self at eight", if she could go back in time; "See yourself with kinder eyes." I step back from my new friends a changed woman, and I ponder what I would tell myself taking the first steps into the world of the working sheepdog back what will be nine years ago this Sunday. I know the date because that is exactly what I did on my 40th birthday.....I took my first step into the world of the working sheepdog with my frightened, broken mirror of a Snook dog...and it changed my life forever.
I'd tell myself: *Sheepdogs are a journey and if I listens with all my senses the dog and sheep will tell the entire story. * Trying to make things happen by force will lead to no sheds and timing out at the pen or maybe even too wide of an outrun. * Avoiding the hard topics can leave tension that rears its ugly head later in uncontrollable circumstances. * Who I am is not defined by winning nor by beating anybody. * The quality of my run is not determined by my scores or placement. * Beauty and improvement can be had in a retire, a dq, and a score, but I have to look. * Beauty and improvement with my dogs might not be seen by other people and that's okay. * I'm not a good person if I win nor a bad person if I loose. * Win or loose, few people will remember who won Heppner the first round in 2013 nor will they remember who gripped out 5 of 7 runs on the way to the Bluegrass and back in the same year. * Relationship; deep understanding and working together is what I long for with each of my dogs. * Other people are on a journey of their own and it is none of my business. * When I make other people's journeys my business, my judgment is who I really am.* Instead of passing judgment, I might want to see if I can figure out why a run is going wrong or right. * Mistakes happen, I can work to minimize them but they will happen. * "See myself with kinder eyes" but don't expect others to do the same. * Negativity and criticism is like an infection...the tiniest of seeds can grow into an oak tree over time, especially if fed and watered regularly. * Good and true friends are to be cherished, gather them up and be thankful. * Sheepdog trials are not life...they are just a small part of my life. * Nobody can make me feel any certain way. * Whether somebody agrees with what I do or not, I do not have to accept shame or change to fit in. * When I go to a trial, put down the best run I can for the day...there is greatness in that. * It's good to work at getting better. * I can't expect my dogs to function at their peak all year long, nor it is fair to expect myself to function at peak all year long. * The better I get, the better my true friends get. * The dogs that are put into my life are going to teach me something if I am up to learning....be up to the challenge! * Seize every day with my dogs as their lives are short and time flies by; there is no stopping that.
I really believe this; deep in my heart I believe this. When challenged, I might have to ruminate over and over but I come back to my roots of belief. Bella and Nell are qualified and signed up to go back to Virginia for the 2013 finals. My Bella is struggling with a soft tissue injury. I am working on finding a good and functional rehab plan to see if I can get her all healed up and ready to go. I also have some work to do in myself with my mental management, toughness training and self discipline. My recent trials showed me some work I need to sort out. "Avoiding the hard topics can leave tension", I remind myself. These dogs and my journey with them, as I've said a few times over, really it is about me finding the beauty and improvement in myself. So with great thankfulness to my dogs and kindness to myself, I soldier on...........I am!
Seize the Day!!!!
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