Suddenly.....

"Have you ever had a moment like that? Suddenly, without explanation, the stars seem to align and, without doing anything, the pressure in your chest eases and the thoughts in your mind untangle and you can’t explain it, but it seems like everything’s going to be okay, and you know you didn’t do anything to make it happen and it feels like a gift—one you want to open slowly so the moment of grace won’t pass you by, as you know it inevitably will." ~ Dr. Kelley Flanagan

I really enjoy Dr. Flanagan's website blog, UnTangled.  He is pretty darn raw and authentic; does not sugar coat the challenges of life all the while striving to find the higher ground.  Unlike so much of the blather on social media, which whips up drama forming stiff peaks of uncooked meringue, Dr. Flanagan brings the journey of living around to self.  I love it, I need it. I long for my moments of amazement to string together joined by "gratitude" and "right focus."

I love the new ranch.  Over the past few months, I will admit, there have been times where I felt like I was just visiting; I've felt like I was staying at a bed and breakfast, until Tuesday night.  The moment probably was seeded last month when we finally signed all the papers and the other house became home to another family.  I drove by and saw kid things in the back yard and it was bittersweet.  All the memories; the goods and bad, mundanes and parties, memories of growing a family and finding a little more of myself washed over me.  I'm so thankful the house belongs to another family growing up kids....it deserves to be loved and enjoyed!  The signing of the papers and the turning over of keys released me into unpacking my heart and mind....finally. As I was driving home on a windy, rainy Tuesday night....I came to the stop sign that I have stopped at how many thousands of times over the past 10 years of owning my original RDR?  THAT moment, of intense feeling of being untangled, hit me...... I turned right instead of left and drove home.  

This place is pretty magical.....there are days when I go out to work and I lose myself in time.  I step back into 1856 when the property was homesteaded...the first in the Turner valley.  I squint my eyes into slits and let my mind wander into the forest trees that were cut off the hill side.  What grew in the big field below? Certainly camas, as my wet corner pocket acres are full of the beautiful purple flowers.  I wonder if natives roamed my land, gathering the roots to dry and feed their families.  The little pond, fed by the spring-head on the acre we own across the main road, invites a leisure bench sitting in the shade of the big willow........who decided to bring the bullfrogs in?  Taking the land back from the hemlock, thistle and blackberries is my main goal right now.....and the beauty unfolds as the work continues.

My husband laughs, almost daily, in wonderment at the idea we purchased 'property with a view'. "Who knew?" he exclaims as he drinks his coffee from the porch and wonders at the changing views. Some days fog rolls in off Mill Creek, fingers extending out over the fields, lengthening, relaxing and covering the land.  As the sun rises and finds strength, the hand folds curling back into the waters, taking nothing while leaving the fingerprints of dew.  Other days, the sky is crystal blue, a backdrop for Mt. Jefferson, a rosy snow covered mountain reflected in the water of the pond.  

The work can be consuming....the fitbit steps never ending....as I spray, seed, feed and love on the land.  Thoughts of "how the heck could anyone let the land go so feral?" sneak in and I remind myself......I am so blessed!  The physical work, putting the roots to my dreams, is so rewarding....and I find a lot of happiness and perhaps a little peace as the late 1800's meet 2016.  

Secretly, I think this place was created just for me.  All the tiny details of those who lived here before.....maybe it was created for them too, but most certainly it was for me.  "Suddenly, without explanation, the stars seem to align and, without doing anything, the pressure in your chest eases and the thoughts in your mind untangle and you can’t explain it, but it seems like everything’s going to be okay, and you know you didn’t do anything to make it happen and it feels like a gift—one you want to open slowly so the moment of grace won’t pass you by, as you know it inevitably will."

I find myself living my manifesto.....seize the day, make life extraordinary....open the gift slowly (with intention) so the moment won't pass me by......