I posted this on FB the other day with mixed reviews:
"The truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen." - Pema Chödrön
There were folks who did not want healing....and others who could not lived without the end result of "solve" and, perhaps that is not the best word Pema could have used, but the quote speaks to me. It might be a world wide issue but I know I struggle with the idea that SOMETHING other than what I have can make me happy. That idea holds hands with....my end goal of life being perfect. Life can feel like a rat race...my vision board filled with furthering goals, my passion planner lined out with all the self improvement programs to 'fix' me and all the things-to-do accomplish everything lists. More land, a different dog, smaller jeans, less rain, a new president....gah!!!!!
An example would be my goal of property and living where my sheep life! BAM....got it, nailed it, Heaven. All my dreams of doing big outruns, and getting up in the morning and going out and training in my pajamas became reality. That, my friends, is the "come together" aspect of the above quote. Then there is the "fall apart".....my dogs see sheep through the fence now; never happened before because my sheep were 7 miles away. This place had stock on it, before I moved in, that had some diseases I am dealing with in my sheep; haven't seen this for a long time because I ran a closed flock. I don't throw dogs in the truck every single darn day and have them stay in crates for hours at a time because I don't have to drive to my ranch anymore; I live here! Which, the dogs love but I have to work with them on becoming good travelers where before it was just life. I would NOT trade the "fall apart" for the world...I LOVE living here.....these are just the challenges I did not see until I was living them.
I'm working on ......"room for all this to happen".....and being okay with it. I wrestle with the frustration of treating sheep......but when I live in the moment, using my talent to critically think...I find the most amazing dog work that I would never have been able to manufacture without being forced to treat the flock. Tight barn work, pushing through chutes, sorting off sickies that need treated, using different dogs to do the work....all this is showing me where my dogs need more confidence and also where they shine.
I think this applies to all of life, really. The training up of young dogs...where we go out some days and its coming together nicely and bam, something goes wrong. I remember the early days with Bella.....she'd look good and then a sheep would break and it was all down hill gripping from there! I'd get so frustrated and think of selling her. My mentor told me to either sell her or commit to a year. I committed to a year and it was in the "falling apart" that I learned to dig deep, see things different, try another approach....the falling apart was where my growth was. Now, at 10, Bella is my go-to do-any-and-everything heart dog.....the working through all our falling aparts has made an amazing relationship between us.
Sheepdog trials are another place where things come together and fall apart for me. The coming together of THAT run where the hair stands up on my neck because my dog and I are working well together is probably what has me going back for more. The falling apart of the run not going as expected...or judged as I thought it should be. Letting room for it to all just be...learning and growing and working on all that I need to work on is the growth in allowing for room. It's so easy or perhaps even human nature to blame the falling apart: crappy sheep, bad dog, worse judging. Again perhaps the magic happens in the falling apart....the questions of have I done my work, does my dog understand, is my ego causing issues...is today the day to work on sportsmanship instead of lamenting my views?
I'm not the one to naturally embrace the falling apart though. I like things tidy (except when it comes to housework and that is not for here) and I am a recovering perfectionist. That perfectionistic nature has to be slain in all things of my life almost daily...I've seen it rear it's ugly head everywhere: food, exercise, dog work, gardening, even knitting for crying out loud! And so, I soldier on embracing the flow...some days complaining about it, other days lamenting, and other days finding a bit peace and healing from the growth and grace that can only be given in the messiness of life.
Seize the day!!!
Sunday, January 14, 2018
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
R E S P E C T.......
I read a discussion going on about relationship....and how to have a relationship with your working/trialing sheepdog. Some of the advice was super interesting and some counterproductive, in my opinion. I do think the discussion did what it was meant to do; since then I've been thinking a lot about what kind of relationship I want with my dogs. For me, I believe it boils down to respect
I took a lesson with Sal last month and the clinician challenged me to look at her respect towards me. He suggested I evaluate her respect for me off of sheep...interesting! He also thought, with some work on respect off sheep, that would transfer to respect on sheep. I've been pondering this idea ever since that discussion. The Sis/Sal line of dogs are just so freaking easy to live with. Because of that ease, it is also very easy to let them get by with small things that really aren't that big of deal in my book. But perhaps those small things add up to a lack of respect. I know my dogs like me...but do they respect me?
I've also been looking at what I think respect is. I've always thought it was a bit like a knife...where one side of the blade might be obedience (where a dog is made right) and the other side of the blade is a bit of correction (where the dog is allowed to be wrong)....the hilt would be respect and so the balance of obedience vs. correction brings about respect. This whole balance is a place where I do struggle....I find myself over-correcting and also over-controlling. Over-correcting can put fear in a dog while over-controlling takes away thought or self initiative or possibly makes a dog a bit mechanical.
My dogs hang out with me, in the house, when I'm home. I allow them up on the couch for snuggling and they have free access to a huge yard to putz around in. My rules are not many....come when called, get out of my way, don't jump no me, kennel up, stop messing with the cat through the fence, and no fighting amongst the pack.... with these rules I work at being super consistent. I know I drive my "kennel keeping" friends nuts! I do agree with them though, I think it is more of a challenge to get dogs who are both pets/companions and sheep dogs to be respectful.
I believe respect is worthy of a look on a regular basis. I'm working on making my correction fit the crime right now. I'm also working on accepting try and allowing dogs to sort a few things on their own without me "making" them be correct. The flip side of all this work I am doing on myself is to not compromise on what I know they know. That dance of a balance is an amazing challenge...and I wonder if it challenges all those who work at training a sheep dog?
And so the journey continues and yet again it comes back to me. Fair, consistent, respect, progress, relationship.....all the little nuances that come together in training up and working a sheepdog.
Seize the Day!
I took a lesson with Sal last month and the clinician challenged me to look at her respect towards me. He suggested I evaluate her respect for me off of sheep...interesting! He also thought, with some work on respect off sheep, that would transfer to respect on sheep. I've been pondering this idea ever since that discussion. The Sis/Sal line of dogs are just so freaking easy to live with. Because of that ease, it is also very easy to let them get by with small things that really aren't that big of deal in my book. But perhaps those small things add up to a lack of respect. I know my dogs like me...but do they respect me?
I've also been looking at what I think respect is. I've always thought it was a bit like a knife...where one side of the blade might be obedience (where a dog is made right) and the other side of the blade is a bit of correction (where the dog is allowed to be wrong)....the hilt would be respect and so the balance of obedience vs. correction brings about respect. This whole balance is a place where I do struggle....I find myself over-correcting and also over-controlling. Over-correcting can put fear in a dog while over-controlling takes away thought or self initiative or possibly makes a dog a bit mechanical.
My dogs hang out with me, in the house, when I'm home. I allow them up on the couch for snuggling and they have free access to a huge yard to putz around in. My rules are not many....come when called, get out of my way, don't jump no me, kennel up, stop messing with the cat through the fence, and no fighting amongst the pack.... with these rules I work at being super consistent. I know I drive my "kennel keeping" friends nuts! I do agree with them though, I think it is more of a challenge to get dogs who are both pets/companions and sheep dogs to be respectful.
I believe respect is worthy of a look on a regular basis. I'm working on making my correction fit the crime right now. I'm also working on accepting try and allowing dogs to sort a few things on their own without me "making" them be correct. The flip side of all this work I am doing on myself is to not compromise on what I know they know. That dance of a balance is an amazing challenge...and I wonder if it challenges all those who work at training a sheep dog?
And so the journey continues and yet again it comes back to me. Fair, consistent, respect, progress, relationship.....all the little nuances that come together in training up and working a sheepdog.
Seize the Day!
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
All is Calm....All is Bright....NOT!!!
Well I knew this day would come.....and really, she is a YEAR old. Yep, Josephine Florence is in heat! GAH! And I kept two...one being a boy...and it was a Game of Thrones Litter.....Poor Poor Jon Snow! Today is the worst it has been...with Jon going Cray Cray and Josie, thank God, being like her mama and wanting to kill him for his attention to her hinny and also his lack of wanting to play anything but doctor. So puppy jail it is....one is under house arrest at any given time. Me, well I am making appointments to continue with my spay-athon. My parting prayer is that Jo's standing heat only lasts a few days and we can get on with life!
Seize the Day!!!
Seize the Day!!!
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Merry Christmas
It's hard to believe it was one year ago that Sis had her puppies; talk about a life changing event. As I was reminiscing with friends the other day.....we came to the conclusion that one never knows how strong they are until they go through the hard times. I learned I am strong......I can live without sleep.....I have great friends....and asking for help is part of life.
It's Christmas time and I am grateful for the reminder of all that is important to me: Relationships, Love, Time and Tolerance. The things I don't like about Christmas is Expectations and Wrapping presents. I solved my second dislike by buying boxes that look "already wrapped" and I use them year after year. But how to creatively deal with Expectations? I've been reminding myself daily to do all the things that make me happy for Christmas...and as I am doing them, stay in the moment. This is a tough one for me......I struggle with the busyness of the holiday while others relax and do their thing. Part of me would rather be out working dogs or all the bazillion other things I enjoy instead of Christmas preparation. Then I bring it back to my list of "what is important" and I know it's a gift I give my family....gathering around good food and a comfortable home to share the day.
I'm here working on my second cup of coffee....most of the work has been done. My little immediate family is coming tonight for dinner, gifts and perhaps Santa. Then tomorrow is a leftover brunch of all the good things to eat with more family. My one wish is that the two days of Christmas be filled with love and laughter and surprises of the spontaneous. I'll remind myself to keep my eyes open for the tiny miracles while not grasping, fist clenched to the demands of expectation. In fact, this is a good reminder for the coming year.
In non-Christmas news....Josephine is in heat! gah. The challenge of having an intact male dog has manifested three fold as Miss Josie is bringing her mama and her aunt Sal into heat too! Poor Jon Snow...and poor me for that matter! I'm mastering the dance of keeping dogs separate. Josie is confused and Jon is super biddable...so far so good. Once Josie is out of heat, my challenge will become a little easier as those two are besties. Sal is the one I really have to worry about......she is a sneaky slut and has a history of oops litters. If I knew of someone close, I would consider sending Jon off for a month......we will see!
My favorite week of the year is just around the corner. I love the week after Christmas and all the fun work of remembering the closing year and looking ahead to the new year. It's good work for me......
Merry Christmas to all of you......may the coming days be filled with all that is important to you......all the way into the new year!
Seize the Day
Friday, December 15, 2017
Fingerless Gloves
Fingerless gloves......I LOVE THEM!!! I can still do all the things that I need fingers for...all while keeping my hands warm. And if my fingertips get cold...I just tuck them in. These gloves are also the first knitting I have done for myself and I use them daily.
Right now, with Christmas only a week and a half away...I am frantically knitting up fingerless gloves for everyone. The gloves I am wearing are made from a sock weight yarn and take for-ev-er to knit. With the help of Ravelry, I tweaked a pattern that uses a DK weight yarn and I've can knit a glove + per day.
I hope all my people love them as much as I do.......until I fall hands first into the ankle deep mud while working sheep!
Seize the Day!
Monday, December 11, 2017
Be Careful What You Wish For
I was telling my friend, just the other day, that if I were 30 years younger....I'd run commercial sheep. Then the weekend happened....and I realized....I an not 30 years younger! hahahahah
The first day started with frozen fog and a 300 acre field filled with lambs.....somewhere.
The goal was to sort off a handful of those lovely Romney crosses right there at the back.
After a super wet fall on newly planted annual rye grass, I quickly realized the Boss Lady was right and this was not going to be an easy task; not easy or clean!
With the help of an entire village, we got 'er done. I can never figure out how sheep producers do it without a good dog.....because Bella was a rock star. Even at 10, she can cut off lambs and hold the pressure.
Day two was at home sorting off round lambs to go back to the Boss Lady and sorting the new lambs into smaller groups. Sorting, moving, loading, and working...I was a mini sheep operation. Sis got most of the work till the end when Bella came out with experience trumping training. My place is coming together but I see holes that need addressed to make the work a little smoother. That and not brining in border cheviots again....ever! Next time I ask for the cute little border cheviots Boss Lady is supposed to say NO!!! Wicked creatures from Hell!
After tromping through calf-deep mud the day before.....the hard frozen ground at my place was like working out on cement! When I finally walked in the house at 4 it was all I could do to cook dinner and not go to bed! And so today, Bella and I are sore, tired and a little grateful that the Boss Lady's crew can handle the work on the preggers today without us. I think I'll just stick with being Boss Lady's intern......it's a great life.
Seize the Day.
ps all photos by Boss Lady......
The first day started with frozen fog and a 300 acre field filled with lambs.....somewhere.
The goal was to sort off a handful of those lovely Romney crosses right there at the back.
After a super wet fall on newly planted annual rye grass, I quickly realized the Boss Lady was right and this was not going to be an easy task; not easy or clean!
With the help of an entire village, we got 'er done. I can never figure out how sheep producers do it without a good dog.....because Bella was a rock star. Even at 10, she can cut off lambs and hold the pressure.
Day two was at home sorting off round lambs to go back to the Boss Lady and sorting the new lambs into smaller groups. Sorting, moving, loading, and working...I was a mini sheep operation. Sis got most of the work till the end when Bella came out with experience trumping training. My place is coming together but I see holes that need addressed to make the work a little smoother. That and not brining in border cheviots again....ever! Next time I ask for the cute little border cheviots Boss Lady is supposed to say NO!!! Wicked creatures from Hell!
After tromping through calf-deep mud the day before.....the hard frozen ground at my place was like working out on cement! When I finally walked in the house at 4 it was all I could do to cook dinner and not go to bed! And so today, Bella and I are sore, tired and a little grateful that the Boss Lady's crew can handle the work on the preggers today without us. I think I'll just stick with being Boss Lady's intern......it's a great life.
Seize the Day.
ps all photos by Boss Lady......
Saturday, December 2, 2017
All By Myself......
I train by myself most of the time. I don't mind, actually, I enjoy it. Yet, surprise, surprise, I end up with holes that can only be fixed with other people! I totally know it is common for young dogs to want to hold to the set out people when they begin to trial. I "know" that but when it happens to my young dog....I remember! Back to the drawing board and time for some time and miles and miles and miles!
Another set of eyes on training can be beneficial if not necessary. Sometimes I get in my own head and need a push myself to see things from a different perspective. With two "new to trialing" dogs and two puppies getting started.....every now and then a tune-up is in order. My personal mission is to find the balance between a dog doing things natural and my being able to over-ride that when necessary. Sisters, Sal and Sis are opposite sides of that knife: Sal being all about her...and Sis being all about me. I'm working on helping Sal find a better method while allowing me some input every now and then. All the while, Sis is being asked to be a little more responsible and get some things done on her own. And then there is me....it is so easy for me to just tell Sis what to do...and get mad at Sal of not letting me tell her what to do! Oh the life of working and training sheepdogs!
Then there are the "puppies" who are 11 months old and not really puppies any more. They are two sides of a knife as well....very different. Jon Snow is thoughtful and all about having fun. I was reminded yesterday that perhaps it is time to start developing his method on sheep. He is so nice when he is working well and thoughtful. I know he is too close but I wonder about opening him up or stopping him to show him what distance feels like. Watching another way of developing method was exactly why tunes ups with like minds are so important for me!
Josie is going to be nice in her own way. She is fast footed and quick minded and serious as a heart attack. I've taken a few weeks off with her....and yesterday she seemed like she ready for more. She is all about the "come on" and I'm wrestling with pace and not having her flank out of that pressure point instead of pushing through it. I want to keep that forward for sure.....but I don't want to encourage flanking.....so that dance begins.
I have always believed it is important to seek advice from trainers who are like-minded with my mission. I believe, given a chance...my dogs will find answers amongst the sheep and I have to die to all the things i could do to make them "perfect". Putting pressure on them to open them up, lying them down to keep them out of trouble, giving them too much trouble for messes or not enough accountability for small infractions that I might just ignore; that's my dance. Lastly, when I work with a trainer, I want honesty. I really despise sugar coated "your dogs look great" when I'm really longing to learn and develop a better relationship with each of my dogs. In addition, I prefer honesty that has the end result of my getting better.
The take away from my time yesterday looks like this:
Sal....perhaps I am spoiling her too much (LOL LOL) I need to continue working on getting in her head and having her respect me; she blows me off a lot! I need to work on my different correction tones (applies to puppies too) and maybe try some disappointment. My personal thought includes the fact I don't believe Sal trusts me nor believes in herself......so I'll work on that while I work on the respect.
The puppies both need to work on developing their method on sheep. That's what we will be focusing on for a while. The biggest confirmation was...YES they are ready for more and their little widows of learning are wide open. I thought that but was glad to hear I'm seeing things accurately......now the journey gets fun. Sunshine is coming next week........you'll find me in my bottom field in the new 250X300 pen I built for winter puppy training.
Seize the day!
Another set of eyes on training can be beneficial if not necessary. Sometimes I get in my own head and need a push myself to see things from a different perspective. With two "new to trialing" dogs and two puppies getting started.....every now and then a tune-up is in order. My personal mission is to find the balance between a dog doing things natural and my being able to over-ride that when necessary. Sisters, Sal and Sis are opposite sides of that knife: Sal being all about her...and Sis being all about me. I'm working on helping Sal find a better method while allowing me some input every now and then. All the while, Sis is being asked to be a little more responsible and get some things done on her own. And then there is me....it is so easy for me to just tell Sis what to do...and get mad at Sal of not letting me tell her what to do! Oh the life of working and training sheepdogs!
Then there are the "puppies" who are 11 months old and not really puppies any more. They are two sides of a knife as well....very different. Jon Snow is thoughtful and all about having fun. I was reminded yesterday that perhaps it is time to start developing his method on sheep. He is so nice when he is working well and thoughtful. I know he is too close but I wonder about opening him up or stopping him to show him what distance feels like. Watching another way of developing method was exactly why tunes ups with like minds are so important for me!
Josie is going to be nice in her own way. She is fast footed and quick minded and serious as a heart attack. I've taken a few weeks off with her....and yesterday she seemed like she ready for more. She is all about the "come on" and I'm wrestling with pace and not having her flank out of that pressure point instead of pushing through it. I want to keep that forward for sure.....but I don't want to encourage flanking.....so that dance begins.
I have always believed it is important to seek advice from trainers who are like-minded with my mission. I believe, given a chance...my dogs will find answers amongst the sheep and I have to die to all the things i could do to make them "perfect". Putting pressure on them to open them up, lying them down to keep them out of trouble, giving them too much trouble for messes or not enough accountability for small infractions that I might just ignore; that's my dance. Lastly, when I work with a trainer, I want honesty. I really despise sugar coated "your dogs look great" when I'm really longing to learn and develop a better relationship with each of my dogs. In addition, I prefer honesty that has the end result of my getting better.
The take away from my time yesterday looks like this:
Sal....perhaps I am spoiling her too much (LOL LOL) I need to continue working on getting in her head and having her respect me; she blows me off a lot! I need to work on my different correction tones (applies to puppies too) and maybe try some disappointment. My personal thought includes the fact I don't believe Sal trusts me nor believes in herself......so I'll work on that while I work on the respect.
The puppies both need to work on developing their method on sheep. That's what we will be focusing on for a while. The biggest confirmation was...YES they are ready for more and their little widows of learning are wide open. I thought that but was glad to hear I'm seeing things accurately......now the journey gets fun. Sunshine is coming next week........you'll find me in my bottom field in the new 250X300 pen I built for winter puppy training.
Seize the day!
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