That sure was a week in the book of my life! As I look out the window today, it is almost as if it did not happen. Only the piles of remaining snow keep the evidence of the past week physically real. It started Wednesday with my formal meeting up with the man who haunts me; hoping it is the final meeting and I can move on. Then Thursday, the lambs starting showing up right along side the big, fat, wet snowflakes. Almost a foot of snow out at the ranch mixed with not many snowplows in the county and I was ranch bound for four nights. Most nights I stayed at my neighbors; they graciously offered me a bed, shower, food and COFFEE! One night, the snow was so deep and two mamas looked to be quite ready, I just stayed in my truck. That allowed me to get up a few times in the night to check for lambs without worrying I'd wake my new roommates or not be able to open their electric gate to get out.
The whole experience wasn't that bad. Every day, as I hauled buckets of water for the mamas and their new babies in the barn I found a lot to be thankful for. 1) I had electricity. That meant I could run my heater in my pump house and have water. It also allowed for stock tank heaters and lamb heaters as well as barn lights so I could see. 2) I have fabulous neighbors! Most days I walked down to get coffee and find companionship. They fed me and checked up on me and have one of the most comfortable beds I have ever slept in! 3) I got a fantastic workout every day! Hauling water, shoveling snow, cleaning jugs, walking for coffee......oh and limited food from the backs seat of the truck kept me headed in the right direction.
Yesterday, Bella and I had to sort off the three ewes that were sheared in hopes that they actually were bred. They have been living high on the hog eating at the buffet with those who actually were growing babies. Now that the mamas are getting big and clumsy, the unbred ewes have become quiet sure that the food is all theirs and, feeling great if not barn bound, those open ewes have been pushing my getting ready to lamb ewes around. Bella and I had the task of sorting the two groups and putting the open ewes out with the school sheep. It was hard work, those open ewes seemed to know that the buffet was closing and they did not want to be outside sheep. In the frustration of the moment, my raw, tired, truck slept emotions were showing, and Bella let me know she did not like me one bit. It was not the task at hand but rather me and my temper and choice of words. I think I could say f*$k in the sweetest of voices and my dogs would all know that I am not happy!
Funny, there has been a big discussion on Facebook about "sulky" dogs. I've read most of it and have my own opinions. I do not want my dog quitting me, nor being sulky. I most certainly will not apologies to the one who haunts me that my dogs are a mirror to my soul! My life, dogs included, is about me finding myself. My dogs are the best friends to me...showing me where I need to work on myself. I can yell, swear, be unfair and hold grudges to people. I could surround myself with doormats and people who can not set healthy boundaries that take my poor and despicable moods. But not my dogs......my dogs tell me, in no uncertain terms, to get over myself. My dogs show me that, this is a job and if I dig deep, work hard and not allow emotions to get in the way, the job gets done. There are days when the job is very hard, those are the days that I need to dig deeper and be the kind of partner that I would want. I most certainly would not want to work for somebody who is yelling, swearing and blaming for a job that is hard by no one's fault.
When the going gets tough.......the toughness can mold us into warriors and badass survivors. That molding does not just happen though. For me, it takes work digging deep and really sorting myself out: discipline, self control, supportive communication, holding up my end of the partnership.....funny how that looks a lot like life!
Now the rains come......and more lambs. Better get my badass toughness on.......
Seize the day!
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