"And she will always carry on
Something is lost
But something is found
They will keep on speaking her name
Some things change
Some stay the same.....
I've finally got the dog room/office heading in the right direction as I begin to unload the "guest room", moving my "things" and finding places. I've got my filming/computer stuff, my dog stuff, my craft and sewing stuff and my memorabilia. Big mistake opening some of those boxes before my deed was done today. That said, once opened, it is hard to shut the lid on the box of memories...kids growing up before my eyes, puppies into 15 year old lady dogs....time marches on and I can grieve all I like...it continues to march. I love love love the genealogy writings done by some relative or another. I wonder what stories those from days gone by, who share my genetic code, could tell...as I reminisce about mine. Did they have a favorite dog, did they love being a parent to the depths of their soul, did they have friends that would move a body for them?? I think of them often as I look at old pictures and heirlooms that have been passed on, as treasures, to me.
We all have stories..... ..today, I think of my animal's stories...it sure has been a year of change.
Barn Kitty: She moved into my little slice of Heaven 10 years ago, living in the hay loft, which was filled to the gills in the days of running 90 sheep. She had been hit by a car and sported a broken shoulder. I fed her and told her to stay as long as she liked. Once she started getting around and feeling better, I realized that she had been somebody's house cat....she was declawed and spayed and about the nicest cat I had ever had. Well, except when she wasn't because she was pretty bossy and would bite if she was not done with her daily lovings. She decided to stay. I spent many a long day and longer night with Barn Kitty on my lap as I lambed or taught lessons or just farted around the farm. A little orange tabby cat moved in about 5 years ago and pissed Barn Kitty off (I know...very original name!). BK moved out and I thought she was gone until orange tabby Cream was hit by a car on the very busy road my barn rested near. Barn Kitty came right back and staked her claim and no other cat dared to move in since. Until, Hello, the feral kitty, was dropped off by her even more feral mother. BK tolerated Hello, in a love/hate sort of way....kicking her ass regularly and feeding Hello's thesis of "negative attention is better than no attention."
And then I moved......slowly, I moved the chickens, then Hello, then the sheep. Hello was contained in an old milk parlor where I forced her to live until just recently. I left BK out at the old place, visiting and feeding her once a day......hoping I could have some rhythm in the new and find a creative idea on how to move her. The little old lady was riddled with arthritis and completely defenseless but she loved her barn and knew how to survive there. When a human visitor moved in for a time, with her four legged partial pack of canines, Barn Kitty left. It took me days to find and catch her, at which point I took her to the new place.
I guess my part time attention split between clearing clutter, moving, cleaning and selling, left me surprised at how I did not know how old and feeble my faithful cat had become. I put her in a huge double crate in the milk parlor with Hello but the move did not go well. Barn Kitty was getting old, struggled jumping up on a small crate to get to her table when I let her out for her daily pets. She was not feeling well, not getting around, not digging the change and I knew. I had to give myself that pep talk..the one about the gift we give our best friends....our pets. It is always easier to give that pep talk to anybody but myself. Instead of stress, radical change, and coyotes, I gave my girl peace....which has left me with a huge barn kitty sized hole in my heart.
It has been a year of change for sure. I've said goodbye to memories stored in the walls of an old milk barn, my home of 20 plus years, my good and faithful heart dog, whom I miss more than words can say. And then I lift my eyes and look at the amazing dream come true of my new big slice of Heaven and I know. Deep in the deepest crevices of my soul, I know......this place was made just for me and a time such as this. The passing of change are life....the pain a good reminder that I do actually have a heart that loves deeply and passionately. For that, today, I am grateful
Barn Kitty, that'll do. I'll see you on the other side.......
And she will always carry on
Something is lost
But something is found
They will keep on speaking her name
Some things change
Some stay the same.......
Seize the Day!!!!
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