Ego

Cultural Dictionary

ego [( ee -goh)]

The “I” or self of any person ( ego is Latin for “I”). In psychological terms, the ego is the part of the psyche that experiences the outside world and reacts to it, coming between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social environment, represented by the superego.

Note : The term ego is often used to mean personal pride and self-absorption

How do I even start to share my two week journey across America and back?  What I learned along the way about myself, my dogs, my friends and my country.....mile after mile of "new" even when it appeared to be the same.  I saw my first armadillo, and a snapping turtle trying to cross the road.  Mountain goats, buffalo and antelope dotted the landscape and a herd of deer meandered through the rv park...thankfully it was the open girls out to go potty. I'm not sure I can tell this story in chronological order...instead it is unfolding in degrees of thought:  the amount of time spent over thinking while driving hour after hour after hour after......

I had a very interesting conversation about EGO with a few friends and myself.  The question of my finger whistles, their use with lack of subtlety, and if my striving for mastery is EGO based?  That one question needs rolling around in a little before a good honest answer can be formed.  The question actually created more questions without a balm of an answer yet to be found.  Is my quest for learning the art of shedding EGO based?  What about all of the nuances of trialing a dog.....the "competition" aspect of trialing...the quest for the Finals debut.....where does EGO fit? 

Being not pure of heart, EGO feels very gray to me.....something that can be skated, tiptoed by, submerged in, and then crucified, hanging to death only to be lifted off to work through again and again and again.  Do top handlers see "personal pride and self-absorption" as negative; something to stone and leave behind, only to be picked up on the way down?  Are there any top dogs in any venue of competition that have actually murdered their EGO to a finality of death?

Maybe my whistles are the epitome of EGO.....but as I look at this from all the angles that I can find to look at a subject worthy of over thinking, I believe I am finding a bit of "personal balance" in these whistles.   I look at mastery much like climbing Mt. Everest....not something that I want to get to the base of and then quit, walking away.  I want to climb that finger whistling mountain even though it is hard and I don't do the best of jobs of it at this point.  That feels a lot like "death of an ego" if you ask me.  Every time I have to put aside my fingers and use my brass whistle, I also die to what failure might look and feel like and be okay with the step backwards.  Identifying that it is okay to ask for help, it's okay to have to work hard to learn something new, it's okay to have others not like or agree or support or understand the challenge.....the self appointed challenge that might have began out of EGO but has turned into more of a journey of self acceptance: for right now, where I am with those stinking finger whistles and for the future as they become music to my dog's ears. I'm learning to be okay with just where I am, maybe being a little kinder to myself as I struggle, maybe taking the criticism, not to heart, but as a little spur to keep on, climb that mountain, rise to the challenge, and enjoy the journey. And I, I took the path less travled by, and that has made all the difference.......

Seize the Day!