Silly Ramblings

Over at Whistle Pig Place, a border collie mistress muses about nursery dogs.  I have been thinking...such a fabulous past time, about her thoughts and then something happened today that forces my hand and I must tell my story.  It is a long story....and is shared more for me than for any fair, honest follower.

My two sons are 18 months apart.....and yes my husband lived to tell the story!  Being 18 months apart, and also genetically inclined, they have been competitive from their first inhale of oxygen.....I'll bet each thinks theirs was the biggest O2 hit ever from a new born!  To maintain sanity and well, yes, to add deep profound joy to our lives, we started our children into the world of athletics at the age of 5.  Each played baseball and basketball until the magic age where they were allowed to don flags for their initiation into football. 

Now our boys were pretty physically coordinated and highly competitive from the get go (I know, go figure).  At this tender early age it was weird but it happened: the comparison of skills or lack there of between kids on teams....and what parents did/did not/handled all this craziness.  Some parents were proud and sure their child was the best thing since sliced bread all the while deserving all the best including all-star team spots.  Others had very talented kids...yet these parents felt the need to push and push the kid as hard as can be to be better and better......NBA, MLB, NFL was calling, babay!  Some parents had less talented kids and blamed everything..the coach, the lack of playing time, the refs (who obviously could not see what a little genius was budding). While other parents saw that this endeavour of cut throat  competitive youth sports was not exactly what their child was best at and found other ways to help their child bloom where planted.  Still again, some parents had healthy processes in place for teaching work ethic, nurturing self-esteem, pushing and supporting.  And then some parents probably did a little of all the above! 

We lived in the same area of town as our boys grew up, allowing us parents the privilege and fun honor of seeing groups of kids grow up and "become" as well.  My youngest son, all his growing up years, dreamed of going to Duke and playing basketball for coach K.  He was tall and aggressive and a good basketball player but over the years the talent sort of spread out amongst his teammates so he became a team player versus an individual player.  He also found he loved football and was more suited for football and now he plays basketball for fun.  Some kids, who were shining stars, peaked in junior high, others high school....a few of the amazing athletes have gone on to play college ball, though not as many in basketball and baseball from those original teams.  Interesting...some of the kids who showed little talent at six, actually blossomed and played a little high school ball...mostly because of dedication and hard work but some genetic talent also peaked through with age and growth.   Some really talented kids never amounted to anything because of bad drug choices, or grades not being important.  Other kids were crushed and never given the nod on because of bad-sport parents coming to practices and games and being just that: bad sports (other names come to mind but I don't want this to loose its essence).  While other really top notch talented kids, sometimes never saw their dreams come true due to lack of hard work or the feeling they are owed for their God given talent.  Funny how if we could go back to those early years.....would each child's "then" destiny have been pegged correct based on what they showed at that early age?  How much did parenting play in their development?  How about coaching? I do know there were those special few that have gone on to the next level: college sports, and we just all knew they would. But more did not that we thought should!

For me, I always wanted my kids to know....dreams are meant to be lived!  'All-the-way lived' until dreamed out...and then new dreams come to the front.  Dreams are the spice of life....yet we need to put legs to those dreams for them to be all the magic they can be.  So what the heck does this have to do with anything?  The whole process, from start to finish, of a young dog can be related to the development of an athlete.  And our job is to find the balance of push, support, discipline, encouragement, desire, practice, rest, all based on what the dogs needs.  Sure we will make mistakes, heck we all do....the beauty comes as we identify the journey and sort out what is what each moment along the way.  Funny how training dogs is so much like the life skills of raising children.....except we can't put the kids in a dog crate for a time out!

These are just my thoughts.  I have raised two boys.....not much to hang my hat on as an authority.  I trained a few more dogs and I do say, "I'd rather have a nice open dog than a good nursery dog".  My Gyp is nursery this year but I am not "feeling it" to push her to run.  She is changing right now and I am sorting some  big flock work with her.  It is what I know is right between the two of us.  But no judgement on those who see their young dog different.....that is the really cool thing about this journey we are on....we can come along side each other and be good with the different paths.

In closure, I got word today of a young girl who crossed paths with me, what feels like so long ago in a different life, in competitive sports.  She took her life yesterday.  I can not imagine the grief her parents must feel, we are not meant to outlive our children. As I look at my two beautiful boys, I want them to know they are loved beyond measure.....I hope all the hard lines I drew, all the pep talks I gave, all the hugs and bandaids I applied, all the lessons, practices and games I sat through, all the cheering I did that left me voiceless, and the paths I wore pacing, the times I embarrassed them by coaching from the stand, all that mixed and stirred, helped them to live their dreams then and become all they are to be as they live their dreams today.  Same too with my dogs....may I be open to what they need so at the end of their run with me....they will have wanted to run for me.

Thanks for listening....

Seize the Day!